The last thing my obstetrician said to me at my 6 week postpartum check up was “now I know you went through IVF with the twins, but surprises can happen so be sure to think about which type of contraception will work best for you now and get onto it! ”
I thought about it…. and obviously went for my usual choice… none at all!
I have always been pretty open about our struggle to fall pregnant and IVF journey that brought us our beautiful twin girls Indiana & Samara. And to be honest since we struggled to fall I never even imagined how it would feel to have a ‘surprise pregnancy’!
So there I was, new mum to 3.5 month old twins… and I’m not gonna lie… we were really making the most of every rare opportunity we got to let our hair down child free! My girlfriend’s wedding was no exception! Love was in the air, mum and dad gone wild vibes, mother in law sleeping over babysitting, we got home at 3am like crazy kids and of course had a late night, drunken bang to top it all off!
It wasn’t until my girlfriend whose wedding it was posted a 1 month anniversary photo that I remembered a conversation I had with some friends in the bathroom at the wedding… All my friends had their period at the wedding, and while they were all being best friends forever losing their minds about their synced menstruating, I remember thinking “oh nah I finished my period about a week ago”.
Prior to having the twins (aka trying to conceive) I could of told you the exact date my period and ovulation was due for the next 6 months… but post twins I wasn’t paying any attention in the slightest…until I realised that my usually clockwork 30 day period had not arrived after what would have been almost 6 weeks. Hmmmmm “Nah it’s just my body getting back in sync… this is only my 3rd period after having the twins!”
So after days of joking about being pregnant (like yeah right as if!), 2 weeks of going to bed at 7:30pm because “the past 4 months of night feeds have caught up to me… Im just so tired!” (even thought the twins were actually sleeping through by 4 months!), 1 dizzy spell and a cold… it was the moment my Italian mother-in-law put a delicious home cooked meal in front of me for dinner and I nearly spewed all over it that I thought… “FUCK… is this pregnancy sickness?”
The next day I was on the phone to my friend Kerry (aka business partner at Bump Day Spa) and in true BFF style she was like “oh come see me today at Bump and we’ll do a pregnancy test together cause my period is late too”. So in I went… 5 month old twins in tow… we got a pack of pregnancy tests and headed to the ever-so-classy Double Bay public toilet. Like naughty little school girls we both peed on a stick and told each other not to look and we’ll reveal them both at the same time. I was sure Kerry would be up the duff cause she just looks at a dick and falls pregnant… meanwhile I was sure I wasn’t and my period was on its way because of some mild cramping! “Ok on 3…. 1, 2, 3″…..
Kerry’s was negative, mine was positive…. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK!
I had stared at enough negative pregnancy tests to know a positive one when I saw one! “This is not funny, this is not funny!!!” is all I could say as I burst into tears while Kerry was congratulating me… (and yes we are still in the Double Day disabled public toilet with the twins!)
OH MY GOD…
So while Kerry went and bought me another pregnancy test I did some calculations… I would be about 6 weeks pregnant… my twins are 5 months old… It will be due like 2 weeks after the twins first birthday! OH MY GOD!!! How am I going to tell my husband!?
In about the same amount of shock as what I was in when I found out I was having twins… I drove home and waited 2 very long hours for my husband to get home from work.
I was like “Oh hey babe how was your day, thats good, put out your hand”. Jason looked at me like what are you doing? And before I could even put the positive pregnancy test in his hand, my eyes started welling up and he just said in disbelief “No!?” knowing exactly what I was about to tell him. He was as shocked as I was but thank god for him and his glass half full/we can do anything attitude because he made me feel instantly better about it all.
I still cried for 2 days just wondering how the hell I was going to make 3 under 13 months actually work. I cried to my GP and then I sprinted to a scan insisting I have it earlier than recommended as I needed to know that there was only one in there… not another set of twins! And there it was… just one lonely little peanut! Mistake or Miracle?
Here I sit writing this blog, 21 weeks pregnant with this peanut, feeling as blessed as anything! There is no denying that when this peanut arrives it is going to be hard as hell. But we are very lucky to have such a wonderfully supportive family and friends and we will just simply make it work… because we have to! So I’m rolling with ‘Miracle’… and I’m also rolling with “you’re only given what you can handle” hahaha hopefully that will help me get through the rest of this pregnancy without having a mental breakdown!
And on a side note… for anyone reading this who is struggling to conceive… take my story as a piece of hope because I was exactly where you are less than 1.5 years ago and never in a million years would have imagined I would be a mother of 3 within that time! Baby dust to you all!